OUR JOURNEY OF FAITH

Fr Luke A Veronis

“We do not reach the Kingdom of God going from victory to victory but more often we have to journey from defeat to defeat,” notes St. Tikhon of Zadonsk. “After each defeat, however, we don’t bewail our misery but we get back up and continue the battle. We go forward in repentance and humility.” This is the tension between our worldly, earthly defeats and our spiritual victory. We are engaged in spiritual warfare and it’s a struggle to go forward toward our goal of union with Jesus Christ.

The Lenten Prayer we all should be saying daily, the Prayer of Saint Ephraim, reminds us of this battle and tension between defeat and victory. He reminds us of our serious spiritual struggle – to take from me the spirit of laziness, idle curiosity, lust for power and vain talk. Here are four of the primary vices that constantly attack us, and from which we are constantly falling – into laziness, a lack of sobriety and seriously in our pursuit for the kingdom of heaven; into idle curiosity, wasting our time on superficial things which lead to a superficial, surface level life which then easily falls into despondency; into a lust for power, where we allow our pride and ego to control our lives, falling into our own self-deluded arrogance which leads to self-righteousness; and then vain talk, idle, meaningless chatter.

Every day we fall into these temptations and too often it seems these vices defeat us.

Along with the Prayer of Saint Ephraim, today on the 4^th Sunday of our Great Lenten journey we also remember Saint John Climacus’ spiritual classic “The Ladder of Divine Ascent” which highlights the other vices that often overwhelm us – gluttony, love of money, impurity, anger, dishonesty, fear, vainglory and pride. How often are we defeated daily by these passions that constantly tempt and assail us?

“We do not reach the Kingdom of God going from victory to victory but more often we have to journey from defeat to defeat,”

Yet, after each defeat, how do we respond? Are we reflective and repentant? Do we realize and confess our sins and then turn to Christ for healing and forgiveness, for renewal and new life? Yes, every day we fail. Yes, every day we fall. The sober Christian life, however, is one where every day we repent, we get back up, we keep our vision on Jesus Christ, and turn back toward Him.

Our spiritual victory comes when we keep our eyes set on the goal, and don’t get confused to what our goal of life actually is. It is union with God. It is becoming a new creation through Jesus Christ. It is tasting and living in the Kingdom of Heaven here and now in our daily life.

Again, Saint Ephraim and St. John Climacus not only offer to us the warning of our struggle, but they offer the vision of what we strive for. “Give to me the spirit of purity, humility, patience and love.” If we are journeying with Christ daily, we will be crucifying our own ego and making space for our Lord to live in us. His Spirit is one of purity, not simply sexual purity but purity of heart to pursue the one thing needful in life. His Spirit is one of humility, remembering who we truly are and who God truly is. We reject all our facades and masks we pretend to be and know who we truly are – the first among sinners before God but also a beloved child created in His image and likeness. His Spirit is one where patience reigns. We wait and trust on the Lord in every circumstance, waiting on His timing, not on ours. His Spirit is one which will inspire us to live in love, divine love. We strive to do all in love, for love, with love.

To these virtues Saint John Climacus adds obedience, repentance, remembrance of death, simplicity, stillness, and prayer.

“After each defeat, we don’t bewail our misery but we get back up and continue the battle. We go forward striving for these virtues that lead us closer to Christ.”

Our spiritual battle is a fierce one if we take the spiritual life seriously. And because we are defeated every day, it may seem impossible at times. Yet, here is where today’s Gospel story offers a paradigm, a model and a way to follow.

We see a desperate father approaching first the disciples, and then Jesus, asking for help for his epileptic son. All his life the son and father have suffered. Even after the father approached the disciples, there seemed to be little hope for healing. Yet the Father cries out to Jesus, “if you can do anything, have pity on us and help us."

To which Christ responds, “"If you can! All things are possible to him who believes." The Father immediately cries out, “I believe. Help my unbelief.” And our Lord sees the faith of the Father and heals the son. Later, the disciples ask Jesus why they themselves couldn’t heal the son and our Lord teaches them that some healings can only happen through prayer and fasting.

All things are possible if you believe.

I believe. Help my unbelief.

This kind of healing and miracle can only happen through prayer and fasting.

Here lies the paradigm which can help us in our spiritual struggles. Yes, we are tempted and defeated every day by the passions and vices which attack us. Yet, we know that we progress down our spiritual path through continual repentance and turning toward Christ for help and healing. But HOW do we turn to Christ to cultivate the virtues we want to flourish in our lives?

We believe that all things are possible with Jesus Christ. We can overcome all our bad habits and addictive behavior. With Christ, we can control and crucify our passions and vices!

We need the humility of the epileptic’s father and cry out daily, “Lord I believe. Help my unbelief.” We acknowledge our doubts and questions and skepticism but express our faith and trust in Him. I believe. Help my unbelief.

And then we remember that to nourish and nurture our faith, the two greatest spiritual tools that we see repeated again and again in Scripture are prayer and fasting. We are called to use these spiritual tools of prayer and fasting in a proper manner so that we can open our hearts to Christ, push aside through our fasting all that hinders us from approaching the Lord, and encounter Him in a living, life-changing manner.

We are in the middle of spiritual warfare. We are striving to climb up the Ladder of Divine Ascent. In the war, we will have many defeats. Yet, we persevere. We continue to go forward. Every time we fall, we get back up and remember the paradigm of today’s Gospel story.

All things are possible if you believe.

I believe. Help my unbelief.

Our spiritual life will progress only through increased prayer and fasting.